Music and Performing

A reflection on my experience with performing on stage.

Beginning

I played the guitar on stage the first time with the school I was going to at the time. We played for our parents, showed what we had learnt that term. My biggest memory from it was holding the gigantic guitar and wondering how the hell I was going to not drop it. You see, I was used to playing the electric guitar. Me being around 10 years old, was sort of small and an acoustic guitar was not small. It was the first time I ever played the acoustic, I hadn't even practiced on it before. I don't remember how the performance actually went but I assume it was alright(>u<).

My first real performance was likely the Pride Festival where I participated with a band I was in. We played, I believe, three cover songs and it went very well. I was a bit nervous before that one but I had so much going on in my life at the moment that I also kind of didn't have the energy to care. If it went poorly, I'd just disappear into the underworld and never show my face(^u^)so how bad could it be? I remember there was a little girl who came up to me after the performance with a drawing of me and some text. "Beautiful inside and out", I cried. It was so sweet, and she really looked up to me. I had been struggling badly with self image and seeing that I could be someone to look up to really had me touched. I always wanted to help others through music and I had finally achieved that dream even if it was just one girl. However, there were then a group of little kids that came up and wanted hugs which was really sweet too. One of their parents told me they really liked it and I'm happy they did. I told my bandmates about it and they thought it was very cute too.

Progress

Next performance was with the same band. We went to multiple smaller places and it went alright. Some went better, some worse. But my favourite place was when we played at the stage we had met on for the first time. It was so much fun but it soon came to an end. Our singer moved to another city and I lost contact with the rest of the band too, pretty much. I sort of hit a bump in the road around then and thought I should maybe just wait and see if I could join another band and take a break from playing until then. I don't consider myself a singer and I also am not good enough to perform solo with just guitar.

Then there was an event at that same stage, my favourite stage that is. I decided to go and participate. It was amazing. So many talented bands there. Most of them played Rock Genre, and I was the only one there with an acoustic guitar. The other performances were so high energy, I loved it. I wasn't nervous this time however, even with how amazing the others were and how I couldn't help but compare myself. I just did what I wanted and played my songs. There had been mini events before, with maybe 5 to 10 people in the crowd that I'd participated in and the practice paid off.

I played two songs, one with a lyrics that I really love and another that I just really liked listening to at the moment. I'm not brave enough to perform with my own songs yet. I heard after the performance that someone had cried when I played. I hope it was out of relatability or so and not from how bad it was (>u<).

Goals

I hadn't known then but that recent stage was apparently a competition as well and found out recently that I had been one of the selected to be able to perform on another stage which I look forward to. This time I'm a bit nervous though because there will be more people and on an unfamiliar stage. But I'm also excited. I want to reach people with my own music someday but then again, I'm more of a writer than a singer.