BTS And Music

Interlude: What Are You Doing Now?

Sometimes the simplest questions are the ones that shake you the most. What are you doing now? It’s a question I’ve asked myself during moments of confusion, loneliness, and change. It’s followed me through school, through the pandemic and is at times. But every time I asked that question, it pushed me to look a little closer at myself, and eventually, toward the things that helped me grow.

“It's alright to not have a dream. As long as there are moments when you feel happiness.”

-BTS, Love Yourself: Tear, 2018

Lost

I think a lot of us became depressed during time of the pandemic, weather it be because of losing contact with friends or stressing out about the dangers of it. I was lucky, no one in my family was affected physically but staying home from school really made me feel lost. I didn't know what to do and I started questioning, what am I doing now? I always relied on school for validation and felt so proud whenever I got my grades after such hard work but it didn't feel the same through online classes. There has always been this stereotype that Asians need to be smart or top of the class so I always strived to be. Living in Sweden is great and tolerance is much better than other countries but racism still exists. I always wanted to be white, but BTS showed me to be proud of myself despite differences.

First Love

Music has always been a big part of me, for as long as I can remember. The thing about music is that it can be anything: an escape, outlet, or a subject for bonding with other people. Music truly is my everything and I genuinely cannot imagine a life without it. Writing music has been like a lifeline for me, because my words always come out easier when in shape of writing or music. I found BTS through their music, but I stayed for their words and philosophy. Everyone deserves to love themselves.

Answer: Love Myself

BTS has always advocated for mental health and I believe it was one of the biggest reasons that they had such an impact in the music industry. They didn't only provide music, but comfort and representation. Personally, a big obstacle in my journey with self love has been internal racism towards myself. But seeing BTS embracing their Korean culture, I started to feel more confident in who I am too. They showed me I have reasons to love myself.

“I want to hear your voice. No matter who you are, where you’re from, your skin colour, gender identity: Speak yourself.”

-RM, United Nations General Assembly, 2018

Outro: Do You Think It Makes Sense?

Looking back on what I've written, I realize that my thoughts do make sense. That's why I love writing, I understand myself better. My takeaway from my reflection is that through everything, music has always been there as something to turn to for comfort. Thank you BTS for being there through the rough time at school, the pandemic, the loneliness, through everything.